Hazards of Outdoor Living

Chris, I'm not one to look a gift horse as it were.But, your "friend" did bail me out by unconventional methods.He(or she)now resides in West Palm Beach Fl."he" waltzed in wearing a lovely evening gown and high heels.Seems "he" knew the officer on duty and they had a "history"together.Who knew in the wild west???Anyway, I got the 505 Gibbs,The .44mag and the hog back.I'm heading your way once again.But first how did you meet him? And you mention your wife,how long have you known her? I'm not questioning you my friend but, I am coming a long way to help and don't need anymore surprises. See ya soon. Don

Whew! Was worried you were still stuck out there. I met my "Friend" on the net, when I queried law experts in Yellowstone City. Their yellow pages are a bit sparse so I may have been in the wrong section and didn't realize it. It said something about law and court and expert at getting out of jams. The janitor part was just a scam I think now. The trouble here is dying down now that hunting season is open. Lots of activity so the varmits are in hiding, you'll probably end up fishing in the Bay (Green Bay, off Lake Michigan) as the trout and salmon are still there, I think. Gotta go, it's been raining for 39 days and nights so I'm getting kind of worried about this weather. Good thing I built my house on stilts. Best to ya, Chris

Hey Ole Buddy: I don't know if this pic is clear or not. First of all, it's pouring again, sun showers now and again, more on that later. Secondly, that little buck only has his left antler! The little tree mauler worked so hard wrecking my trees he lost an antler, serves him right, now no self repspecting hunter will shoot his butt cause he's a reject. Go figure hey! Now, the reason the picture is blurry is that darn rain I'm talking about. I watch that cute little weather girl on the cable and she usually has some good points about the weather and she says there is a big storm heading in from the Dakotas toward The U.P. and after I looked at the satellite it appears that you may be inadvertantly driving that Washington State weather ahead of you toward me. I know I'm being a little picky here, you being kind enough to go out of your way to help a guy out, but I just wanted you to know I'm calmed down about it and all ready took care of the inconvenience. I got online to the "Store" and the nice people there said they would fix me right up with camo wet suits and rubber boots and stuff, all I had to do was give them my card number and they said they would do the rest, I'm 'specting the big brown truck anytime now, so I'll be ready for you, rain or not. Take care more later, Chris

We had a light frost last night so I imagine the leaves will change color fast now on the trees behind my house. The lower picture is of the Porcupine Mountain Wilderness Area, approximately 150 miles NW of where I am and the colors are changing fast up there. Just some more of God's Country for your viewing pleasure. I guess my buddy Don got lost again, haven't heard from him for a while now. Chris

Great photos.
peacefull looking spot.
Colors reminfd me of Will's place
http://www.elmerkeithshoot.org/members/?q=node/23

.. Yes indeed, they look similar. Not sure where his place is but I guess everyone gets some fall color no matter what part of the country they live, you just have to look for it sometimes. When I lived in NM on the high plains we drove to the mountains to see the tree colors in the fall. Great fun! Chris

Chris, Been out of the loop for a while, here's what happened.Got to the "Big Muddy". Did as instructed and put the ride on my back and swam.Lost the hog midstream,looked for the better part of the week and did find the lost ride. 11 pounds of lead gone, no plans of getting back in to find it.Dried out the ride but the ignition system is touchy at times and has limited my speed to 14mph. So here I am busting my tail to help out a brother,and what do I see? A photo contest. Don't get me wrong they are beautiful pictures, But dammit man, coulda used some help here. Could you wire me a little cash? Sure would like to visit a laundermat and a liquor store,Oh yeah,some McNuggets would be heavenly. Let me tell you of the nice people I have met.One guy gave me 5 gallons of gas just to get out of his driveway. Another chap really helped dry the ride by pushing me 23 miles with his Kenworth.That took a little getting used to but I made it.Where are you again in relation to West Virginia? I'm parked outside somebody's house mooching their wifi.Gotta go,Don

West Virginny is a bit south and east of where I am, did you get drifted downstream to get that far off course? I wired some funds to a check cashing place at a truckstop close to where your wifi hookup logged in at. I just put it to "The poor guy that comes to get it" so you better hurry. I also included some cookies and dry cereal on a tab there so you don't have to stop along the way onest you get yourself together again. I would look for a highway called US 41 that goes north, it ends in the U.P. so that would get you back close to where you need to be. By the way, some of the hunting seasons have opened up so be careful if your wearing that Viking helmet with the horns on it, some folks around here will put their tag on anything with horns! Hope you can get here before winter, I know how cold it can be riding on that hog in the cold weather. Your pal, Chris

P.S. The pictures were for Al so he wouldn't get bored listening to us.

Chris, While taking a short cut from a rural road over to the interstate I met a bunch of guys. They were a bit standoffish at first but were real friendly once they heard of my troubles. They were farmers just finishing up.They grew a crop of....umm...well,it resembles the leaves on my laceleaf maple at home. Cant remember what it was called but they said it was for "medicinal purposes". When I heard that they wanted to help people with problems I told them about your issues with the varmints. Boy, their eyes lit up " weez goin witchya,"was all I heard.Good news all around, loaded the ride in the back of their limited edition Studebaker 19and49 vintage. Be like new if they didn't camo it, said it was to keep a low profile while harvesting.I guess they don't flaunt their wealth. So, as soon as we get the families,dogs and guns loaded we are on our way! Oh when you see them youll see they don't have a dental plan,probably shouldn't point and laugh. They try to conceal this by growing big beards and mustaches,you just can't tell where one ends and the other starts.I also told them I'd check to see how many rooms you had. We might bring the RV.Havn't seen it yet but I'm sure it'll look good parked outside your home. Don

Don: I guess I figured you had learned from your past experiences in th Yellowstone Territory. You need to get shed of those new friends, transient grass trimmers are probably just going to be a hindrance to your journey and, besides, they probably won't make it into "God's Country" through the checkpoint. You will be OK I think, but you need some good ID or they will hassle you. Good luck on the rest of your trip. Chris

Chris, Damndest thing,about 10pm last night I was awoke by some rude noises and bright red and blue lights.Seems my new friends were wanted by the law.And the farming operation wasn't as they described.The fine officers involved were able to see I was innocent.Back on the road,heading northerly,still looking for a liquor store(medicinal purposes only). I'm no longer looking for saleable road killed raccoons and coyotes,I'm getting tired and looking forward to helping you out. Don

.... a few things you'll have to watch out for. First, you will hit some kind of mountains called the Smokies and the people there are all real nice so you should be OK, but be careful if they offer you a mason jar or a crock jug, it won't be water even though it is clear as can be. If you do taste it, don't do too much or you'll be out like you got hit with a hammer, it's good stuff but very pure! Second,you will really have to be careful once you get on toward the Land of Lincoln since they are kind of real up tight about guns. I wouldn't advertise that you have any and you should be fine. Just don't stop anywhere there. wait till you cross the border and you should be on your way. I have the tent pitched in the back yard and I keep brushing the frost off each mornig and I stocked up on fuel for the stove and such, so you should feel like you're in a royal palace compared to what you been used to on your travels. If you have any problems(?????) which I know you won't (Tee Hee), just give a holler.Your attendantg buddy, Chris

.... a few things you'll have to watch out for. First, you will hit some kind of mountains called the Smokies and the people there are all real nice so you should be OK, but be careful if they offer you a mason jar or a crock jug, it won't be water even though it is clear as can be. If you do taste it, don't do too much or you'll be out like you got hit with a hammer, it's good stuff but very pure! Second,you will really have to be careful once you get on toward the Land of Lincoln since they are kind of real up tight about guns. I wouldn't advertise that you have any and you should be fine. Just don't stop anywhere there. wait till you cross the border and you should be on your way. I have the tent pitched in the back yard and I keep brushing the frost off each mornig and I stocked up on fuel for the stove and such, so you should feel like you're in a royal palace compared to what you been used to on your travels. If you have any problems(?????) which I know you won't (Tee Hee), just give a holler. Your attendant buddy, Chris

How about a big picture of that comemmorative Smith? Add it to THE BIG SLIDE SHOW or something!
Al
PS how many M's are in .....

You beat me to it. I was thinking the same thing, that's one nice looking shooting iron! I showed most of my pet guns it's time for some new pics. Chris

P.S. COMMEMORATIVE....and this site is really slow, is it my laptop?

We are moving to a new server, maybe that will help.

... I'm just bugging you. Chris

I told Don to take a little break from his trip and he told me he would be somewhere that didn't have phones or cell coverage for a bit. I think he was afraid to tell me that he got lost or sidetracked again on his way here. He's already missed opening of bow season and small game season and the rifle season is fast approaching. I figure he'll maybe make it here some time in December so I'll probably have to buy him Christmas dinner or something? I sure wish he would have gotten something a little better than that moped for his transportation. Oh well, wait and see. Chris

Chris, Lost most of my notes and my map. Went through a lengthy line yesterday. Thought it was a drivethrough at McDonalds.When I ordered at the window the nice man just laughed asked what my business was and let me through.I had no clue that the state flag of the U.P. was a maple leaf! So now I'm wondering where you would be in relation to a sizable town called winnypig? Funny name but kinda cute.Most funds once again exhausted, the tread getting kinda low on my brand new retreads and damn its cold out. It makes sense to me now why bikers have beards. Through most of my journey I've noticed many people looking...well..staring at me. But not the people up here, they look just like me.I'm sure I'm not far enough north yet.Gonna keep going north till I hear from you. Put on the coffee I'm almost there. Don

Hi guy: good to hear from you so soon, was worried you got off course again but I should have known better hey. OK, first, don't listen to them Canadians, they still think we're two different countries. If you continue on that course you will come to a big body of water that those guys call Hudson's Bay, which is only about 1000 or so miles NORTH!! of where you will be ending up eventually, which is just near Lake Michigan. You should probably make a U-turn somewhere soon. Now a word of caution, the bears up there will be all white, don't worry, they won't bother you as long as you have your big 505? whatever you call it, but don't try to get friendly with them. I wired some money to a place called Moosejaw or something like that and they will outfit you real good and they will take your moped on trade for a better vehicle, a snowmobile! You will like that a lot better because it can keep you up on top of the snow and you won't need those snowshoes you had strapped on the moped. I figure you won't be this way till well after the snow flys so that vehicle will be fine. If any thing changes let me know, your buddy, Chris
P.S. The guards are waiting for you!

Don't know if picture printed. Have to get Al to put it in. Chris

Hi Don: Finally got the pic of the girls up guarding the porch waiting for you! Chris

Chris,For the last week I was thinking man it gets dark real early out here.But then I remembered seeing all those signs with the clocks on them telling you to set your clocks ahead. Went into a fast food place and couldn't get coffee all they serve is tea. And no ketchup they have vinegar gotta get back to the lower 48. Saw on a map where Michigan is exactly. Guess I was overachieving a little.Since your south of me I should be able to coast some and save fuel. Saw the picture and have advised the SPCA and HSUS about the people that threw out their dogs into the snow storm to perish.I bet if you had dogs like that you wouldn't need my services to rid the varmints from your yard. Thinking I'm ahead of schedule see you pretty soon. Your good buddy,Don

..... get over-confident, you still have a ways to go to get back down here. There's a lot of country to back track over and by the way, my guard dogs like the snow, we call them "Snowdogs" here in da U.P. My dogs won't mess with varmits since the big odor incident with the striped kitty, that's why you're coming. What do you mean by using those funny words that don't make any sense? I got the most education out of the family, I made it to high school. We only had a one-room school house but high school was the chair in the east corner. So that's how I'm able to correspond on this computer. You surely haven't met anybody smarter than me on your trip, that's obvious, especially using them nonsense words! But let's get back to helping you get down here in one piece. I suggest you don't say anything when you get to the border, they don't like people leaving with all one's U.S. money in tact, or at least that's how it was, maybe it's the opposite now. So mum's the word and be on your best behavior. Once you get back down to the lower 48 you should look for a road that goes to Michigan. Once you find that just give a holler and I'll give you directions. I spect you will clear the states by early December so that's why the girls are on the porch in the snow, they're so excited! They just love company and they have even been sleeping in the tent keeping it homey for you. Your Pal, Chris

I don't have any U.S. money, is that why they asked me to leave? And why didn't you tell me to take a road that goes to Michigan? I didn't know that there were roads TO Michigan. I thought you had to go through the Dakotas ETC...ETC... Now you tell me.You mean I didn't have to swim a river and lose my ride???? I could have stayed on the interstate??? Chris, Since our first correspondance I've taken a liking to you and wanted to help you.It seems as though you really don't want my assistance or, you can't wait for my help! Thats it isn't it? Don't worry help is on the way.I'm sorry to have thought negatively I have been through so much. I'll explain when I get there.Oh,When I get that monster buck will he qualify for CBM status?Your buddy, Don

Will I need to take IGLOO 101 in order to stay on your property? Or maybe I should find a qualified Eskimo prior to my departure? But then I'd need a bigger vehicle.Hmmmmmm

...Poor Guy!! Don you are way too sensitive, it's no wonder you have gotten off track. The tent is a dome tent but it definitely isn't anywhere near being an IGLOO, love those caps! I am anxiously awaiting your arrival (as are the girls as I mentioned previously) but I didn't expect all those detours and complications that befell you. I once made the trip fom Michigan way out to Washington and although it was a journey I never encountered the things you have. I even made a detour through Yellowstone and watched the gysers but we never were detained or impeded in any way. I suppose that you're just a little stressed with the longer than anticipated trip but I can overlook that and will make sure the drive is plowed by the time you arrive. I see you missed Moosejaw and didn't get the funds I wired you, so I re-routed the funds to the general store in International Falls, MN so you can get resupplied for the trip over to MI. The road is only a logging track through the forest so I don't want you getting upset that there's no pavement, you kind of insinuated I didn't mention the road before but that's the reason, it's not on any map as they don't put unimproved roads on maps. I guess if you had to break off the rest of the trip to head home to recuperate I would understand, but I wouldn't want to be influencing your decision. Keep up your spirits, it will be over soon. Your Buddy, Chris

Chris,I'm in Int Falls what general store did you wire to? The only store I could find hadn't heard of you nor did they have the ability to receive wired funds.However the chap did have a confused look on his face as he stared at me, don't think he's all there.I did however, enjoy the first hot meal since leaving home. If you ever find yourself up this way try the corndogs they are breathtaking and the condiments are free. Anyway, I'll hang out here and detail the ride till we get the funds squared away. Don

You should look for the Paul Bunyan Hardware and Farm Supply and Animal Supply and General All Around Emporium?? They like long names up there. The funds have been waiting patiently for you. Weirdest thing happened so I have to tell you this. All that snow in the picture I last posted, it was some kind of weather phenomenum or whatever, the snow only fell on my place, everywhere else it was sunny and 70*. It's all gone now and everything is nice and normal(??) again. I asked a guy what he thought and got some rude comment about "Hell freezin over", I don't know if he was saying my place looked like hell or not, you know some people can be kind of snooty like that. Anyway you should be in good shape, don't forget to ask about the chains for your ride, you will probably need them when you get in the ruts on the north road. I'm trying to find some maps or something to send you to make the trip easier but so far there isn't much except "Uncharted Territory" when I look. Your Pal Chris
P.S. This is kind of the best road you will see so keep an eye open for it.

OK. so,I may have had a little problem with miscommunication here. How far is International Falls from Niagara Falls? Quite a tourist trap here,picked up something nice for you as a gift. Was thinking that I shoulda brought along a camera on this trip.But how could I had known it was going to turn into such an adventure? Might take a day off to take in all the sights since I'm here and all. Having some problems with the ride, must have picked up some bad petrol up north.Best wishes, Don

No problem, you probably need more. You must have gotten blown eastward by the tradewinds or jetstream and crossed at the Whirlpool Rapids or maybe the Rainbow, I think you must have a bad needle on your compass or else it's getting near metal when you're checking direction. Anyway, rest up, get recharged, enjoy the scenery and check in when you are ready to resume your travels. Your Good Ole Buddy, Chris

I don't NEED a compass.I am from the Pacific N.W. where men are men and the sheep are scared! I'm gonna get there. I'm just enjoying this great land of ours....and theirs up north.Just figured I oughta say hi! sinceI have killed their bear,moose and caribou wouldn't be right to pass through without saying hey.Had to leave those falls a guy can't think straight there.And, besides they closed the park down.Whirlpool rapids?I don't remember but,I'm sure you have one and I can't wait to use it.Call ya when I get back on the road,say hi to the Mrs. Don

He will TASTE GOOD ON THE GRILL. Put some wood chips from your tree on the grill also, gives it the smokey flavor. Let him have it with a 45-70. In the shoulder, not behind like the pointy stick fellows have to do, so it breaks down the shoulder bone, heart, lungs, and shoulder bone on the off side. Nothing but some grinds on the shoulders anyway. Then if you are that hard up, soak the blood shot meat in salt water to remove the clots. That way you can eat all the way to the hole.

Gunsmith, I sure hope you're talking about that little deer and not Don! I like to eat as much as the next person but.......... I did intend to remedy the deer problem, that's what that lost wayfarer, Don, is supposed to be coming for but he's been a little out of sorts lately and besides, friends are hard to find and I did tell him he was my friend so I can't hardly hurt his feelings about being lost on the trip. He just gets overwhelmed like a kid in a candy store when he sees all the beautiful country and he can't seem to concentrate on directions or whatever. I'm trying real hard to leave some game in the county for him, but dang sure is rough when he is dwaddlin. I think he must have led a very secluded life and didn't get out much so this is a real big deal for him. I just can't burst his bubble while he's out there having so much fun! It is probably doing him a world of good and that's all that counts. Chris

Sorry got caught up on the deer problem. Didn't see page 2. Have an acquaintance that hit a buffalo in Yellowstone with a Camper. Totaled the camper. Almost got him thrown in jail. He said the Buff was in the road,and he was in a hurry, and tried to go around it. Thought they moved like turtles. He learned something. He is not the brightest bulb on the chandelier.He has totaled at least 2 campers I know of. Big ones. Winnebagos. What a piece of work.
Sounds like Don is trying to be Jesse James. Don't hang any pictures. And sleep with your dogs, and guns.

Whoa big feller, I've been through a bunch on this expedition and havn't experienced this yet.Besides if you were to feast upon my sweetness you would receive more fat than what the USDA would recommend for a year. As for the previous posts;yes its true I don't get out much.My career choice requires me to be around lacquer and bondo as well as fiberglass resins.This I believe may have caused a long term loss of my short term memory,hence my problems with maps, directions and the desire to have a gps unit always with me.I bet things start getting a little clearer for you now.As for Buffalo,I shot my second one a few days before Christmas this year.A very mature bull.My partner also shot one the same morning.Never have I worked so hard in a day in my life.Will post pics when I get home.Enjoying upstate NY. Heading your way tomorrow. Don

Are you talking to Gunsmith or me there Guy? I seem to remember he said there were lots of deer in his area. I don't think he really wanted to grill you, Don! If you're swinging by his place before you head on back this way I better throw the stew in the fridge for another month until you get your itinerary straightened out. Skunk keeps pretty well in a stew but you have to refigerate it if you want it to keep for a few months. I don't want to be feeding you any tainted food or anything. Otherwise take your time, you may not be fully rested yet so don't rush. Your Pal, Chris

No I draw the line on Long Pig. They squeal too much in a language others react to. And there tribe misses them,and asks questions.
No where for you to stay here, other than my blind in the woods.
Not enough deer for you anyway, as I like to keep my freezer level, in case of a nuclear winter.
Lots of Squirrels though. 2 and 4 legged. Pittsburgh is not far away for the 2 legged ones. The 4 legged ones take more work.

Hey Guy: I know you're probably out of touch right now but no worries, I just wanted to keep you updated on your supplies and stuff for the coming winter. I read somewhere that people who spend the winter snowed in ,like in a tent down in Antartica, can get something called scurvy and you need veggies and vitamens. I can't figure out how to store fresh veggies so I stocked up on canned goods, broccholi, spinach, brussel sprouts and lima beans and such. And I know you took a liking to that strong Canadian tea so I got some real good Hudson's Bay stuff for you and I put a few bottles of lime juice in so you can sweeten up your tea with a squirt of lime and that way you'll get your citric acid vitamen C dose as needed. I figure with all the hunting you plan on meat won't be aproblem, you can just hang a hind quarter up outside the tent, high enough so the dogs don't get it, and then I put some old dried potatoes in the ground in the floor of the tent so they will keep quite awhile, and also a couple pounds of rice, both ought to be good in stew and such. I didn't know if you had a sleeping bag or not so I put a whole bunch of fresh cut cedar boughs in the tent and they should pretty much keep you warm along with the dogs curled up around you, and you can also use the hides from your kills as they shouldn't get too ripe in the cold. I maybe can find some blankets and such if you need them. It probably would have been easier if I had a list but these should cover the basics. Your Ole Pal, Chris

Chris,You do think of everything.After spending long dark winters in the pacific NW I have learned of vitamin deficiencies.Thats why after Elk season each year I start drinking more Gin and Tonic with a slice of lime or lemon.And when the rain starts getting warm(spring)I go back to whiskey and water.I found some short term employment here working at a pumpkin patch trying to earn enough for a proper Host/Hostess gift upon my grand arrival at the dome tent.I would like to ask what the girls would like as a gift?As soon as my check cashes I'm on my way. I don't want to chance a snow flurry on two wheels. Is Michigan a hunter orange required state? If so I may have to get a new one, you see I wore mine upon leaving home on the moped for safety.But I think it worked against me as I'm under the impression it caused my fellow motorists to "aim" for me. I took it off and threw it somewhere around Utah as you know I seemed to have taken a wrong turn that led me there.Seems you have me well stocked for my arrival,I'll supply the fresh meat.And if all goes well shouldn't need to be there any longer than june or july.Don

Hey Don, no gifts required for me. I don't ask friends to bring gifts, besides remember the old saw? "Beware of Friends bearing Gifts". I did change the words a bit but the message is there. Now the girls will probably take a little different view and since they will be sharing the tent with you, I expect they will want a few doggie treats now and then, besides you really want to stay on the good side of those two, you've seen the look in their eyes! Anyway you have to go pretty far to get ahead of me ole Bud! I already spected you would have to extend your stay so I hired a couple of guys to dig a new hole and move the old two hole. I noticed that a porky had chewed the seat up quite a bit so I had them guys put a new one hole board in for you, don't need two holes just for you, right? It's only about 100 yards from the tent down in the piney woods but there's a pretty clear path so you shouldn't have any problem finding it, even in the dark after a few gin n tonics! Yes orange is required in Michigan, so you'd best stop and get some orange before you get out of the real world and head into God's country. If not, don't worry, I have a few vests without too many old bullet holes in them you could borrow. I guess that about covers it for this note, OH, I do like Knob Creek or Old Grandad so I wouldn't be out of sorts if I had to sip some while visiting the tent. That's not mandatory but just a hint. Your Ole Pal, Chris

Chris, Cashed my check and went to fetch up a bottle of Old Grandad for you.While there I asked for directions to the U.P. Apparently there is more than one.They sent me to the Union Pacific R.R. station.Again I was asked to leave with the firearms. I said "have you looked around? This is a rough part of town" Again I was asked to leave. I did meet a fine individual that for a small nip was glad to point me in the right direction. And he reassured me it was for medicinal purposes. I'm sure it was too after getting a good look at him.But, he did point me your way I think. See ya soon.Don

I sure hope you are headed the right way cause I just lined up some more vermin hunting for you! I have a neighbor a hop, skip and a jump from here that runs a sod farm. Don't know what you know about sod farms but this one is apparently infested with a whole lot of gophers or as the neighbor says "Ground Rats". His sod cutter even fell in a mess of those holes and he had to get a dozer to pull it out. I told him I had a friend coming up this way that was kind of interested in vermin eradication and he said you should come and see him. I told him you was armed with that 505 Give-It-Both-BarrelS gun and he said he doesn't care if you get 505 or a 1000 as long as you get rid of them! As an aside he said you can keep all you want so that should keep the stew pot full and solve your vittle problem. I was thinking that if you do good over there we maybe could send you out on the road again (since you're pretty knowledgeable about travel now) and go national. I even thought up a slogan for you to use " No vermin too big or small, who you gonna call? The Verminator!". What do ya think? I told ya I was looking out for you old boy so don't you worry. Your Good Ole Pal, Chris

Chris, Went to trade in the 505 for more of a varmint cartridge. I heard the deer were soooo big in da UP I should bring some power. Now I'm wondering what the minimum is for deer? Should I down grade or are the varmints huge? I've seen some roadkill on the way and they are impressive. Now what should I do for a gun? Having trouble with my residence as far as being able to buy a firearm here.Need a new seat on the ride as well.Help.Don

Don: I sure am sorry you've been mislead. I should give you a little history so you can get your self back to some semblance of normal. When I was just a little tyke growing up in da U.P. we had deer in the 500-600 pound range with huge racks, some thirty pointers etc. Now there weren't many deer so it took a great hunter to even see one let alone shoot one of those monsters. The thinking back then was you needed something better than the old blackpowder rounds of 45 to 58 caliber size so Winchester brought out the brand spanking new 94 lever action just for U.P. deer hunters! It was light enough to carry through them impassable cedar swamps and dense evergreen forests and yet it had a super-dooper 30-30 cartridge that was supposed to be better than snot! I personally never shot a deer with a thirty-thirty but heard loads of stories from lots of old time deer hunters and for years that was my fondest dream to own a 94 thirty-thirty. But alas, as time has passed the deer here have gradually shrank in size but their numbers have dramatically increased. There seems to be some correlation between large herds and small size, which by the way doesn't pertain to humans. Anyway the feeling that a large caliber firearm is needed to kill a U.P. whitetail has long since faded into memeory after we went through 35's then 338's and even 416's and 458's but nothing killed them ole small deer any better than that old thirty-thirty. So now we have these new fangled 7 Wetters and 6.5 Grenades and 30 Cloudbusters and so on and so forth but it's really hard to find a good deer cartridge. I been thinking maybe a ball peen hammer might work just as good as some of those concoctions! I mean most of the deer here now run in the 50 to 100 pound range soaking wet and I have to put orange vests on the girls each fall because they are as big as the deer! And as for varmits, heck, they's the same size as varmits anywhere else. I reckon if you was to trade that 505 thing in on something like a take apart Marlin in 45 Colt and pack yourself a sixgun of that same caliber you'd be as well heeled as most of the hunters around these parts, and you'd get jest as many varmits as with some 3000 whiz-bang gadget. That's jest my opine so take it or leave it, but you'd probably have less trouble with all them people opposed to that big cannon you been dragging all over. I hope that helps make up your mind what to do. Your ole pal, Chris

I know he's off getting lost all over the country but I just got tired of keeping his tent warm while I wait, can you tell I'm mad by my demon eyes!

Chris, Sorry you havn't heard from me in some time. You see, I chose to trade in the 505 for something a bit smaller for the vermin.I got a trade on a .334 OKH or something like that and then had to look for the proper brass.This has taken more time than expected and I apologize. The picture you posted of my" tent warmer" has this creature been treated against things that could be transfered to me? There is a demonic look in the eyes is this for Halloween only or is it always this way? Hell, after what Ive been through to get this far whats a bite or two? Be there soon. Don

No problem Don, Baby Girl is not mad, just a little miffed at going to the tent back and forth so many times and not finding Don to maul. No, she is not contagious and her only savaging will be to wash your face lavishly with lots of wet tongue, hope your wife don't get upset at that Babes cause she is really jus an ole Baby dog looking for friends, we get so few visitors that she gets overly excited when some friend visits. Now back to business. That 334 thing may just be the ticket for them vermin but it's still a little overkill for gophers and such, maybe you should resize them bullets down to 224 instead. You could still use the same case and just push them bullets out at 5,000 or 6,000 fps! There would be a bit of a sonic boom but my neighbors is far enough away it shouldn't bother them and there's an airbase somewhere's around so's they'll just think it's a jet anyway. You can take your time cause we're having some kind of massive wind storm for the rest of this week and it's raining again too so the trail in is probably still a little under water. Your Ole Buddy, Chris

Chris, I'm needing a little more detail in the directions to the house. In post #79 you show a lovely wooded lane. I must have been down a couple dozen that fit this very description to no avail.As a matter of fact I traveled down a lane and was met by a strange group of people.It was very cold and stormy yet they weren't wearing any clothes.They insisted on me coming in however I politely declined. After all these miles I seem to have developed a rash on my backside that is rather unsightly.After viewing the the picture of the fallen tree I'm rethinking my decision to downsize the rifle. That must have been a hell of a buck that did that!Or was it the gophers that undermined it? I'll be near a wifi while the cortizone cream relieves my "problem".Please clarify the directions I'm getting tired. Don

....... starts with having some knowledge of where you are. This could be as simple as "I'm lost in the woods" or as detailed as "I'm on that trail that runs north from West Virginny up through the Great Smokies towards the U.P. and I think I'm in Tennessee or Ill'Nois' maybe." So if you can tell me somewhat of your surroundings I might be could tell you about where you are and where you need to be heading. As for that tree, Yes the darn gophers undermined it and then that leetle buck pushed on it but he was so small it wouldn't go down until the wind picked up a bit and finished the job. Gun size is actually unimportant if you know how to shoot it. So will be anxiously awaiting your next message. Your somewhat worried Pal, Chris

P.S. As a general rule, there aren't too many naked folks around here so if you're in that type of crowd you may be way off target in California or someplace that has that stuff, and you may want to stop at a gas station or truck stop and see if they know what state you're in. That's if you can find one where you are. As for that rash, sounds like you must have been around one of the "Poison Gals" Ivey, Oak or Sumac. They have that effect on people, and you were with a bunch of clothesless folks.