Plumbers and Mechanics Heaven

Do you really need to keep your freezer that cold? At that rate your cheap whiskey will freeze.Or have you de-greased your rifle getting ready for a Polar Bear hunt and your testing it?

Geez Don, don't sneak up on me like that, I could mistake you for a polar bear! Ha, don't you West Coast peoples know that polar bears don't come to God's Country, they stay up by Hudson's Bay and eat visitors from War-shin-ton state who try to take pictures of cute little white teddy-bears! You would have to put several layers of cold-weather gear on just to come up here or you would freeze, not being used to it like we natives are. Also our whiskey don't freeze because it's got alcohol in it not like that sissy 3.2 stuff you have on the coast. Chris

Just when you think you have a friend this happens.I see why you types are not with the rest of the state, they wouldn't have you. If yer lookin fer heaven its south of da bridge just near a small hamlet named deetroyt. It's pure heaven and there is a place for every type of income. You never have to paint your house cause someone is always coming by with a can of spray paint to do it for you.With such a great place there I wonder why there are so many vacant homes? I guess nobody knows of them.

That's right Don, keep telling everyone how great Trollville is so they stay away from Eden up here. We ought to have a one way lane only on the bridge so all the strays can go to Trollville but can't get back up here. We is pretty particulate about who we lets in up here. You may be allowed to visit but I shore c'aint guarntee you'd be allowed to stay with that kind of attitude though, you's have to humble up a bit. Besides, what kind of a friend would I be if I gave you false hope? You have to man-up and face the fact that you may not be quality material for Eden, But we'll see. Your Ole Buddy, Chris

You weren't satisfied with -4.7 below so I ordered up some -9.8 just for you, Don. I may have AAADD but I'm still doing OK. (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disease)- cause I knew you'd ask...... Chris

Some guys have all the luck. Can't mow the lawn,clean the gutters or touch up the trim on the house. All there is to do is load bullets and watch Oprah. You my friend are very fortunate. Out in the wild west we here are picking up our yards wearing speedos cause the weather is soooo nice.And here you have ice fishing, snowmobiling and other assorted wintertime fun get out there and take advantage of it!

Yes Don, there is much to do up in Eden in the winter, no cabin fever here! When not chasing "Trolls" back under the Bridge we can go dangerous game hunting, mainly for "Grinchs". They are quite ferocious and can be mean when cornered or chased. Why, just the other day I had a narrow escape when my mighty killer guard dogs chased a wild grinch out of the woods near my yard. I had my back turned and, luckily, spun around just in time to see that terrible beast charging right at me! I quickly,and without haste, drew my trusty .44 from it's resting place in the crossdraw holster on my side and lined up the sights and BAM! It slid to a stop at my feet as my guards rushed up to give a complimentary bite to the now dead beast. I won't say I wasn't wishing I had had your big ole 505 Gibberish for a moment there, cause I did, but the 240 grain slug from that 44 did it's job and I was saved. By the way, any suggestions for mounting that thing? Your Ole Pal, Chris

Chris,Get in out of the cold asap. Has the wife locked you out? It is apparent to me that your suffering from the lack of antifreeze intake prior to going outside. One must "drink up" prior and post to going outdoors in your climate.This is imperative to ones survival. What clearly is taking place here is a lack of consumption leading to frost bite of the frontal lobe(your brain).This lack causes hallucinations.Take for instance a friend of mine thought his house slippers were attacking him while going out to get the mail. Sound familiar? And for gods sake boy, put the firearms away until your b.a.c. is at a respectable level.(probably shouldn't had said that)yer ole pal,jimbob (name with held to avoid attorneys)

I guess the thought of you running around in a speedo just made me a little foggy for a bit and I thought of a grinch! I should add that the alcohol content of our anti-freeze up here is very high, not like that cheap stuff they sell on the coast out there, which is why I lapsed into reverie for a moment. So we don't have to worry if we are good for thirty below or not, but I can see where someone from a rain forest climate like War-shin-ton could be vulnerable to cold and mental distortion. Cheer up though if you ever get out this way the cold air will clear up your mind and speedos will be a thing of the past. Your Ole Pal, Chris.... GAWD, Speedo????